One For Another

As we make room for a new member of the family, we run into the issue that the Mother of the Gremlin and I have been concerned about for quite some time:

Stuff.

The Gremlin's stuff is everywhere and it's hard to get rid of. We definitely wouldn't have had enough room for a baby if we had just left the Gremlin's room alone, so we began introducing the concept of decision making into the Gremlin's shopping habits.

We have started requiring the Gremlin to decide when he buys a new toy, on another toy that he will be willing to give up. With an even swap, we introduce the Gremlin to value, and help him consider how much he will enjoy the new toy vs another toy he might or might not play with.

This caused an interesting reaction. From the time we introduced this to him, the Gremlin tested the waters. He would still run up and get things, put them in the cart, and talk about playing with them and buying them, but when we asked him what toy he would want to give up, the Gremlin voluntarily put the 'new' toy back.

Until the Darth Maul lightsaber. The Gremlin has been enamored with Darth Maul ever since he saw the Star Wars Episode I, and he has been one of his favorite characters on the Star Wars Lego game. When the Gremlin found the double-sided lightsaber at the local thrift store, he was immediately sure he wanted it. He told the MOTG that he would decide on the toy when he got home, and it caused great heartbreak, but he was able to do it.

Not only has the amount of toys being requested now decreased, but the Gremlin was able to look critically at what he had and make a decision to give up one of those things. This is still amazing to me as this is the child who wouldn't share toys he didn't own as of three months ago.

Next comes the great room cleanup....

The Special

We have been using a technique for a while that I realized I should post.

For quite a while, whenever our son would fall, it worked to shout "horray!" or cheer for him. However, there were a few times that it didn't - a big bump or bruise would cause the natural reaction of crying.

We dealt with this as best we could, but were entertained by a story told to us by a friend of ours. We chuckled at first - entertained by the thought that something so simple could be so effective.

And then it happened. A tumble while playing lightsabers in the back yard left a wailing four year-old. After ice didn't help, and a Band-Aid covered it up but didn't make it feel better, bribing left him clutching a popsicle and wailing.

So we tried The Special.

"Buddy, do you want The Special?" Confused, teary eyes looked back at me.

"The Special?" A pause... and then a nod.

With a flourish, I pulled my hands up out of their sleeves. I began rubbing them together quickly, building friction and warmth between my hands. After 10 to 15 seconds I pulled them apart and put one hand on his cheek and ear, and the other hand on the skinned knee.

There was instant silence.

I don't know if it was the warmth, the process, or the attention, but there was no more crying! To this day we use The Special (and try not to overuse it).